' Why choose an import bride? '
Many young people with a non-Western background here in Netherlands feel they ' belong ' anywhere. Tariq Ramadan, arabist and islam expert and visiting professor at the time in Rotterdam last week, gave them advice, thus Trouw.nl.
Tariq Ramadan is since since January 2007 visiting Professor ' identity and citizenship ' at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam. The Egyptian-Swiss arabist and islam expert is considered by some to be a wolf in sheep's clothing; He himself calls itself a bridge builder.
In the Muslim community, he is praised for his listening skills and are good advice. During a debate on identity and citizenship with students at the Hogeschool InHolland in Rotterdam he did as Dear Mona or Best Beatrijs and he answered most personal questions of (mostly Muslim) young people who struggle with their identity, expectations, strict parents, the new requirements for the import bride and Wilders.
Tariq Ramadan draws not only abroad but also in Netherlands well-stocked rooms-as here, at an earlier performance at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam.
Moroccan girl: "I am part of Dutch society, but I'm also a Muslim from a Moroccan environment. I really want to with Dutch evening with steps, but that should not. My parents don't listen to me. What is your advice? "
Tariq Ramadan: "do not ask me the right to rebel, you get from me no fatwa. Before you know it, will I be expelled from the country.
I marvel at the difference in education of boys and girls. Guys may be going out, girls do not. Who do in the meantime all sorts of household chores. If I speak with parents about, I try to explain them that that nothing at all to do with religion. It is culture.
You are mature, you may take your own decisions. You may protest, but do it with respect. You can say, ' even if I do not agree with all of your ideas, I'm still your daughter. I keep of you, but I also have my rights '. That is a double message.
God has given you to your parents, but you're not their possession. God has given you a will of its own. And you should have your parents explain to them that you not for their, but want to be a good muslimah for yourself. "
Afghan boy: "my parents fled 20 years ago. They are well trained, but experienced that their diplomas here worth nothing. They are sad, but remain here for their children. So that we can study. But they hope that we go to Afghanistan after our study. To make a contribution to the building of that country. How do I tell them I want to stay here? "
Ramadan: "I feel with you. And with your parents. They come here with their memories, you are dreaming of a future.
The sacrifice of parents can be a heavy burden for their children. Sometimes you see children there under succumb. Then they ruin their study, everything goes wrong. That should not happen.
Your message is not fun, but you have to be honest. You can say, ' I love you. I feel your pain. I know you guys love me and hope you understand that I want to have other plans '.
Young people have the right to disagree with their parents. But do it with respect. And with love.
If children have other plans than their parents is that difficult. But when parents who in exile life it is doubly painful. They feel: he goes away with me. While I am here in Netherlands already as far to myself come from. "
Serbian girl: "I feel nowhere at home. Here I am constantly confronted with the differences, with my difficult name or accent. But Serbia also is my country not. What should I do with that feeling? "
Ramadan: "you have to make a decision. You have to say: this is my country. You can't continue to doubt between two worlds. Else will keep you hanging in between. You can't be everywhere at home, you have to choose.
Of all people who dreams to leave this country later, 96 percent will eventually continue. That's a figure to shake to wake you up. Choose for this country and make sure that you are not in an identity crisis. If you're not at ease, no longer trust feel, then the victim role there. Then you give everything and everyone to blame for your own problems. There anything more than good, then it feels everything as discrimination.
You may feel a immigrant here. Maybe you later, if you do it very well, a autochthonous. That is what I call the Zidane syndrome. When he was in the French team important goals, no one asked where he came from. But if there are problems, straight to your origin.
But that is not the point. You are, above all, citizen of this country.
Citizenship is not only: your rights and obligations. It comes to involvement. To make pressure on the vagrants who sleep under the bridge, in the cold wind you on about the problems in the health care sector. Enjoy the wealth of this country, but also do your best there to help.
You should appreciate this democracy. There are countries where I can say. Here you can speak freely. But do that as well. Prejudices are the beginning of segregation, they arise due to lack of communication.
This is on your school not only to be the first to, to have the best points. We must also learn to help the others, to show solidarity.
We are not all the same, you see color difference, hear other accents. Look in this lecture hall around you. Here we go well with each other, here we trust each other, we store bridges, we work together. This is the new Netherlands. This is the future. "
Moroccan boy: "set, I will really like to want to marry a girl from Morocco. The Government has so incredibly difficult and makes so many demands for an import bride. Then you run so the chance that a well-educated man choose to then but at his bride to stay in Morocco. Surely this is sin? "
Ramadan: "in one way or another is the perception that the girls from Morocco are better. But all studies show that Moroccan girls do better than boys in the Netherlands ...
Moroccan girls do it well here, they know the country. That's the truth. That is the reality. Why would you choose an import for bride. It is tradition? Or would you rather a girl that less well developed? I recommend everyone with such plans to there good to think about it.
And think not only to yourself. Also remember that a girl from Morocco might initially very happy with new opportunities in a Western country. But that they will get here very difficult. With the language, with an education, making friends. With everything.
So: give the rules not the fault. And don't count on that everything comes from Morocco, is better. An import bride really comes from a totally different culture. "
Autochthonous Dutch boy: "How should you and Western boy dealing with a changing society in which Muslims also increasingly present?"
Ramadan: "stay yourself. Only in this way can we all looking for the new, the new identity of this country. There is I ever criticized for I'm out on the Islamization of the world. That is nonsense. I strive for a world in which we all of us feel at home.
We will both a step forward and each other there. Not backwards ... We want to move forward! And put that step not for that person. Do it for yourself. Because if we have the idea that we do it for the other, is at the end of the day everyone dissatisfied.
We should not talk about each other, but with each other to do something. If you find yourself not Muslim neighbor of injustice, if he also gets angry racism, grab it than together. Then you realize that you have the same values. So we together build bridges. "
Moroccan boy: "Geert Wilders will comes with a film about the koran. How should we respond to all insults? That we can not allow this to happen? "
Ramadan: "I've been advised here not too much to say about it. Tak. Wilders is very clever. We have already times about a film that does not yet exist. That is pure provocation, the man plays with feelings. Wilders wants no dialogue, he wants an emotional response. That we must not do: certainly not respond emotionally.
We should also not underestimate all the other Dutch. There are also a lot of angry. For that matter is the reaction of the Cabinet as well. That has openly distanced and ambassadors that this absolutely no Government position.
I'm from Switzerland. There it might be worse. There is quite the largest party on the right. There they want no minarets because that so-called ' symbols of Islamic colonialism '.
People like Wilders are not dangerous for Muslims. They are dangerous for the whole country. So it is not only my problem, but all of us. And so we must respond collectively. Wilders would like an emotional Muslim reaction, but I am hoping for a civil response. "